You're in Love
by LightGoddessKalinda
Summary: Written from an outside perspective. Heero seems to have been building a new life for himself when Relena finds out where he is and decides to drop in. Complete
1. Default Chapter

**You're In Love**

This song belongs to Wilson Phillips, and the characters belong to Gundam Wing. There is one original character in this story and she is mine. It starts out from her point of view.

Remember, this _is_ a 1xR fic, whatever it may look like at first.

Rating: Pg-13, just to be safe.

Song lyrics are underlined, and yes, Jess is in past tense and Relena is in present. I did that on purpose, and I sort of like it that way.

Open the door and come in

I'm so glad to see you my friend

I don't know how long it has been 

Having these feelings again

Jess's POV

I've known Heero Yuy for about seven years. We met my sophomore year of college, when I was nineteen. He was barely seventeen then, but he already possessed infinitely more knowledge then I did. He was a junior, since he tested out of like a billion hours of classes. I still hate him for that. I can remember thinking when I met him that he would have a Masters in Engineering and I would still be struggling with my Bachelor's in Liberal Arts. Life is not fair.

He was handsome, with wild looking chocolate hair and gorgeous Prussian blue eyes. His cheek bones were high, his nose had with a slight turn up at the end, his lips were thin but nice looking, and he had a strong chin. He was well-built, to put it mildly, with well defined muscles covering his tall and brooding physique. It was hard to tell how tall he was, because he was most often slouching or bending over something with a look of concentration on his face. His hands were large and strong, and they were nearly always occupied. Except for those rare moments when he was sitting still, immersed deep in his own thoughts, Heero was always active.

He wasn't the most social guy I ever met, but I figured that it probably had something to do with the war. A lot of people had had bad experiences that left them dry, so I didn't hold it against Heero when he failed to speak to me once after four weeks of sitting next to each other in a History class. Heck, I even forgave him when he flatly ignored my request to borrow a pencil. What pissed me off was when I spent an entire half hour trying to strike up a conversation with him the day Professor Kramer was late. The guy completely blew me off. Far be it from me to force myself where I'm not wanted. I didn't talk to him again that semester. But that didn't stop me from watching.

I never go home during the winter holidays, mostly because the only thing to go home to is a sister that is always working and a cat. My father served in a division of the Alliance's ill fated forces and never came home. My Mom died in a building collapse caused by a nearby mobile suit explosion. Anyway, I usually stroll around campus when it's nearly deserted and take in the peaceful atmosphere. I swear, every time I went into the library, Heero Yuy was there reading some huge textbook full of complex formulas and words I didn't understand. I felt sorry for him, but I didn't approach. I spent Christmas at a friend's house that lived nearby and my sister even surprised me with a visit (she brought the cat). I had a great time, but the next morning as I went on my walk I couldn't help but notice that Heero Yuy was sitting outside the library in the cold.

I can still recall the exact conversation we had when he first decided to speak to me. Yuy had shocked me by being absent from class for what I was sure was the first time in his life. It turned out he had skipped to go watch some politician speak, but I wouldn't find out about her until later.

Anyway, he approached me confidently and said in a voice that was almost a perfect monotone, "I need the notes." Just like that. I'm sitting in a group of friends at a picnic table at the park and he expects me to drop everything and get him his notes. Heck, I didn't even know what he was talking about until I had sat there for a few minutes. I remember how he just stood there, waiting for a reply like he had all the time in the world and completely ignoring the presence of every other person around. He just made me want to take care of him. There was no other way to describe it. Here I am, not even certain he knows my name and I'm ready to do anything (within reason) to help the guy out. I offered to drive all the way to my apartment off campus and get them, and I asked him to come along. That was it. That was how I really met him.

After that he was a little easier to approach. Gradually, he became more and more of a conversationalist until finally I could take him along in a group of people with relatively few incidents. He was a great listener, a good study partner, and the best exercise buddy I have ever had. He was my best friend before I even realized what was happening. When he got sick of the dorms, he moved in with me. When I quit my job at the local video store, he drove around with me for six hours as I searched for new employment. He got his Bachelors and sure enough, he applied and was accepted to the Masters program (of course he was given a free ride). When I asked him why he wanted a Master's degree, he said, "It's just more school." Like that would explain everything, and with Heero it did.

By the time I managed to get my Bachelors (Liberal Arts, yes, I'm a bum), we had made my apartment more like home then my house with my sister had ever been. He even helped me decorate once I promised to start picking up after myself. Before I knew it, we were living in a place that was a unique blend of him and me. A nice blend of Spartan soldier and crazy college girl that somehow just worked.

I became a secretary, and as disorganized as I am I think I'm pretty good at it. Okay, so I'll never get Employee of the Month, but we can't all be Heero. Heero, in typical Heero fashion, merely grunted when I informed him of my choice in profession. By this time, however, I had managed to learn the language of Heero's grunts, and this one had a definite edge of disapproval. Apparently he thought I could do better. He had learned to expect a great deal from the women in his life, something that I would find out more about later.

We began to date when he turned twenty. Being roomies made that a little awkward, but before I knew it we had lapsed into this comfortable, happy routine that at the time seemed perfect. I knew I was not going to marry Heero. We were simply not that romantically involved. He was a comfy kind boyfriend that I could rely on, but not the love of my life. In fact, I would have thought we were still just friends if he hadn't of hopped into bed with me every now and then. Not that these encounters were not noteworthy. To bring up marriage with Heero would have been stupid anyway, because he would have thought I was asking him and probably said yes out of sheer kindness. Or duty. Or whatever it is he disguised his pity with.

We had been living like that for about two and a half years when a young woman about Heero's age showed up at the door. She was short, with honey blonde hair, lovely blue eyes and a brilliant, but obviously well practiced, smile that instantly disarmed everyone that looked at it. She was in a business uniform, her hair contained in a bun, and she carried herself like a proud but well mannered lady. Her hands were demurring clasped in front of her, an expectant look on her face. I was in my pajamas. It took me a minute to recognize her (I confess, I'm not all that involved in politics), but when I did I almost slammed the door shut in sheer mortification. This was the Foreign Minister, Relena Darlin and here I was without even a bra on.

She looked slightly embarrassed to see me so ruffled and I was quick to grab a coat from a rack near the door. "I'm looking for someone." She said kindly as I threw on the coat. I realized too late it Heero's, it was way too big. "But I think I have the wrong apartment. If you don't mind, could you tell me where Heero Yuy lives?"

Needless to say, I was a little surprised. I mean, what were the odds ANYONE came looking for Heero, much less an important diplomat? "Umm… Actually, he lives here." I said uncertainly. What was I supposed to do now?

"Oh…" She said, her posture dropping a fraction. She eyed the coat I was wearing suspiciously, something about it obviously disturbing her. And then it clicked. She was here because Heero was an old flame. Or maybe he was supposed to be a new flame. Either way, I could tell she was there to see Heero romantically and my being there was throwing a definite kink in the plan, especially since I was wearing his coat and not much else. I made a mental note to wrestle the story out of Heero later.

"Actually, he'll be home in a minute, would you like to come in?" I said, trying my hardest to be polite when I had a thousand burning questions in my head. I could have sworn I saw her eye tick when I said "home". I briefly considered saying we were just roomies, but lying to one of the most powerful women in the world did not seem like a smart thing to do.

She quickly regained her composure, plastered her smile on her face, and said, "No, thank you. Could you just tell him I stopped by?" I nodded my affirmative and she started to walk away down the hall. Then she turned back and said, "By the way, what was your name?"

I'm the other woman. I thought with some mirth. "My name is Jess McCullough. It's nice to meet you." Was giving her my real name a good idea? Would she have the Preventor's arrest me on some trumped up charge? She flashed her smile again and was gone before I could say anything else. I was going to clobber Heero when he got back.

But now I see that you're so happy

And it just sets me free

And I'd like to see 

Us as good of friends

As we used to be

Relena's POV

I should have known. Of course he would have grown up. What were the odds he would still be single? He's a handsome, strong, kind and wonderful human being. What woman wouldn't want to be with him? It's not as though she was unattractive. She was messy and too skinny, but on the whole she was pretty. She may even be his wife. I didn't ask, what if they're married? She said her last name is McCullough, but what if she kept her name for her career? Not that she looks like a career woman. She looks like a lazy housewife and a sloppy one too. I know I shouldn't think badly of her, but it's hard not to when I think of her cooking breakfast for Heero, sharing a perfect little moment with him in the place that should have been mine. I wanted to be the one he ended up with so badly. Did I not make it clear to him how much he meant to me?

She seemed shocked to see me. Did he never tell her about me? Would she have looked that surprised if she had known about me? She's not very good at hiding her emotions, is that what Heero likes about her? She seems the reverse of me in every way… Her hair's black, she's tall, her manners are casual, her eyes and skin dark… Did he choose someone who looked the opposite of me on purpose?

I can't just let her tell him I dropped by and have that be the end of it. That would be cowardly of me, and I am never a coward. I can at least be his friend. Heero and I have history; he must care for me a little. I'm not going to just pass out of his life again; I won't make it that easy on him. I want him to look me in the face and tell me he doesn't love me. And what if she's not his wife? For all I know, she could just be his roommate. It happens! He wasn't even home when she was dressed like that; I could just have dropped in at a bad time! Now I'm rationalizing.

Why is it so terrible that he's with someone? I love him enough that I can be happy for him. He's living normally, and he's letting himself care about someone! That's more progress then most of his friends ever dreamed of him making. Maybe he needed to be away from us. Maybe he needed to escape the people who knew him too well and wouldn't believe him capable of change. He once asked me to believe in him, does he not think I did?

I'm going back there tomorrow, I have to see him. Whatever happens, I can't let him slip out of my life again.

Oh… My Love

Jess's POV

I awoke slowly, at first completely unaware of where I was. It was dark, and as I moved around I realized I was lying on the couch. I must have fallen asleep waiting for Heero to come home. Someone had covered me with a blanket, and I smiled slightly, thinking of Heero slowly covering me, of the disapproving look he must have had when he saw I was wearing his jacket. Then I remembered why I was wearing his jacket. I was going to kill him. Why hadn't he told me about her? He knew about my ex-boyfriends. I thought he had opened up to me. He could tell me about accidentally killing a little girl and blowing up a plane full of peaceful diplomats, but he couldn't talk about her?

I stood up as fast as I could, disentangling myself from the blanket and storming to Heero's bedroom door. It was dark under the door, telling me Heero was asleep. I had rid him of the habit of typing on his laptop in the dark long ago with the threat of buying him glasses and making him wear them.

I opened the door quietly. It was rare that I got to see Heero asleep and as angry as I was I did not want to miss this opportunity. I crept over to where he was lying, and I looked at him for a minute. He was usually much younger in his sleep, but this time his face was contorted slightly. He was dreaming. I reached out slowly, realizing I had never woken Heero while he was sleeping before. Right before my hand reached his chest, he sat bolt upright and grabbed a hold of my wrist with a cry.

His eyes were full of a wild rage, and the pressure he was exerting on my wrist was causing my eyes to water. Suddenly the pain became incredibly intense and I heard my wrist break with a nauseating snap. Almost immediately, he released me with a horrified look on his face.

I backed into the far corner of the room and collapsed sobbing, more from fear then pain. I heard him approach me and I looked up at him in terror. I had never been afraid of Heero, and only at that moment did I realize how completely ridiculous that was. He had been more then capable of snapping me in half for as long as I had known him. He was no different, and yet at the same time everything had changed. He was a threat.

He dropped to his knees in front of me, but made no move to touch me again. "Are you alright?" He looked damaged, weary, and most of all full of remorse. My fear melted away as quickly as it had come, and I nodded.

"I think so." I lied as fluidly as I could, but Heero saw through me as usual. He reached out tentatively and I let him see my wrist without hesitation. He was Heero again, not the monster that had attacked me.

"It's broken." His voice cracked as he said it, and he looked as though he was fighting the urge to vomit.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have woken you…" I trailed off at the look on his face. It was strange to see so much emotion on Heero's face, and I fleetingly wondered if this was even the same guy. Was this the man Relena was in love with?

"You're sorry?" He sounded perplexed, and I realized how completely ridiculous that statement must have sounded to him.

I laughed nervously. "I thought I might have scared you."

He blinked owlishly at me, then a small smile played on his lips before quickly disappearing. "You're not angry." It was a statement, not a question, but I nodded anyway. He stared in awe at me for a minute before shaking his head slightly. He gave me a look of the deepest appreciation I had ever seen, including the time I had rescued my sister's cat from the roof of her house. "You're not angry." He breathed lightly, disbelief still evident in his tone.

"I think I need to go see a doctor." I didn't want to bring it up, but the pain in my wrist was becoming unbearable. He immediately stood up, and as I moved to do the same he scooped me up into his arms. "I can walk." I said lightly, but I knew there was no sense in arguing. He gave me one look of disapproval before carrying me out to the car.

The emergency room was extremely crowded, and I had to wait six hours before the doctor could see me. Heero was scowling at everyone, enraged that things were not being run more efficiently. He kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye, either because he was worried about me or because he expected me to point at him and start screaming "He's the one! He did it!". Maybe it was both. I sought to reassure him on both counts as often as I could, but his doubt was clear. He called into my work for me, since the last thing I wanted to do was hear my boss threatening to fire me, and then he called his own job. I assured him that I wouldn't need him with me all day, but he didn't seem to believe and certainly didn't change his mind about the day off.

By the time I was released from the hospital and had visited the pharmacy, it was three in the afternoon.

You're in love

That's the way 

It should be

'Cause I want you to be happy


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to those who reviewed, yes I'm alive! If you're happy I updated, thank Ashley, she kicked my butt in gear… Glad to see some people like this…

Jess switches to present tense near the end, I just wanted people who were paying attention to know that that was done intentionally…

You're in love

And I know

That you're not in love with me

Relena's POV

Maybe visiting at six thirty AM wasn't smart. I have meetings all day, when else am I supposed to get over here? Great. Either they aren't home or they're not going to answer. I can't stand here all day. Maybe they think I'm some drunk or something. Is this a rough neighborhood? It doesn't appear to be. Maybe they've gone to work. Or maybe she told him she didn't want him talking to me… I don't have time to find out!

It's not as though it's that urgent I talk to him today, it just would have been nice to get it out of the way. I could call him when I get home. Or from my hotel room tonight.

It would be easier to concentrate in my meeting if I had my questions answered and things patched up with Heero… If they were ever broken to begin with… I want to ask him why he left. I want to know if he still cares about me. I want to know if he would ever consider coming home. I want to know how long he's been living with this woman and if she deserves him. I want to know if he looks at her the way he used to look at me…

Maybe I could take the day off from meetings. Call in sick or something. It couldn't hurt to wait here awhile.

It's enough for me to know 

That you're in love

I can let you go

'Cause I know you're in love

Jess's POV

As we trudged up the stairs, utterly exhausted from our incredibly long wait in the emergency room, I remembered why I had tried to wake him in the first place. "Hey Heero, do you know Relena Peacecraft?"

He froze on the stairs, holding the three pints of ice cream I had talked him into stopping to pick up. "Why?" He asked in a complete monotone. That wasn't a good sign.

"It's kinda funny, because she lives on the earth and all, but you know how she's been on this tour of L1? She stopped by looking for you. She called you by name and everything. Why didn't she come by a couple years back when she was here last time? Is that when you two met?" I was trying to sound offhand, but my little interrogation was obviously fueled by intense curiosity and I was sure he knew it. He moved past me and continued up the stairs, deep in thought. I let him think for a minute, following about two stairs behind.

When he reached our floor he turned. "You need to rest."

The subject was closed. If I hadn't of known from years of experience that there was no way I could weedle it out of him I would have bugged him about it for hours.

As we rounded the corridor we got the shock of our lives. There, sitting neatly on the floor with as much dignity as possible, was Relena Peacecraft. When she saw us she shot up to her feet and had the wrinkles smoothed out of her skirt in an instant. Maybe it was the painkillers, but I found that hilarious.

As I suppressed giggles, Heero made an effort at recovering his cool. "Relena." He said gently in greeting.

"Heero." She breathed in an almost unbelieving tone.

"Have you been waiting long?" He enquired slowly.

"No, not really." This appeared to me to be a bullcrap response. Her hair was slightly mussed, her briefcase was open on the floor as though she had been working and she looked tired. She'd been there at least two hours. I chose not to comment on this out loud however, and instead I chose to keep back and observe them together. I didn't like what I saw.

I saw the sparks flying between them and they weren't even within three feet of each other. He had never once looked at me the way he was looking at her, and I knew right then that if there was going to be a fight over Heero's affections I had lost before it even begun. This hurt me far more than I had ever thought it would. I had always known that things couldn't stay the same forever between Heero and me… Or so I had told myself. Some part of my heart had obviously not gotten the memo, and it was screaming at me to get between them, to remind Heero I was there before I was forced to witness something more concrete than the intense look of passion and longing disguised under the usual mask. It struck me then how much her face mirrored his. They both were disguising things that were shining through their eyes and they both had clearly forgotten I was there.

"I'll just let you two catch up." I said as casually as I could. At the sound of my voice they both flinched slightly, as though they had been many miles away from me and I had just jerked them back to reality. I reached over and took the key from Heero, and without another word I walked over to the door. I would have quietly made my exit then if my broken wrist hadn't prevented me from getting the door unlocked on my own. At this reminder of his guilt, Heero took rapid strides over to me and opened the door, inviting Relena in as politely as possible.

The first few minutes were awkward as I bustled around, trying to make everyone comfortable. I rushed to make tea, discovered it was harder with one hand, and abandoned the task to Heero. Trying to make conversation, Relena asked the one question that would NOT break the ice. "So what happened to your wrist?"

I had my mouth half open to lie when Heero's voice silenced me. "I broke it when she surprised me this morning." It was as though he wanted her to know, although why I couldn't understand.

Relena's eyes widened in shock, then melted into a look of pure love and sympathy. Only the sympathy wasn't directed at me. "Oh Heero…" She said gently. Watching her reaction I realized why he had felt he could tell this woman anything. And I hated her for it. She didn't judge him, she wanted to heal him. Not only that, but he wanted her to heal him. She was gazing at him as though trying to assess the damage I had done to him by allowing him to hurt me. I wanted to comment on how it clearly wasn't MY fault, but that just seemed stupid. Unable to think of anything else to do, I retreated to my own room. They're voices, hushed and beyond my ability to decipher, could be heard in the next room until late afternoon, at which point Heero came in and told me they were going for a walk.

The next morning Heero said she had gone. She'd had an early flight back to earth and had asked him to say goodbye to me. It was the least she could do considering she had come to steal my boyfriend. Not that I was bitter or anything. Instead of feeling the relief I wanted to, I was filled with a sense of deep foreboding. There was a gap between us that had never existed before. Or perhaps it had always been there, but I had never noticed it. This gap may not have stuck around in person, but her presence could be felt and I had the feeling it was going to be like that from now on.

Sometimes it's hard to believe 

That you're never coming back to me

I've had this dream that you'd always be

By my side, oh 

I could have died

My sister was one of those wonderful people who panics at the first sign of injury. She was giving me my weekly phone call when I gesticulated with my bad arm. As soon as she saw the cast, she started screaming.

"Oh my God! What happened to your arm!" She shrieked at the top of her lungs. I could hear a crash in the next room on her end, followed by a string of curses. Three years and my brother-in-law, Joe, still freaked whenever my sister started screaming.

"I'm fine." I said quickly. I could feel a pair of eyes on me and I glanced over to where Heero was standing in his bedroom doorway, leaning on the doorframe and staring intensely. "I slammed my wrist in the door. Heero was here, he took me to the hospital."

I could see her relax slightly. The idea of Heero taking care of me always seemed to reassure her. "What would you do without that guy?" She said in exasperation. Her thoughts were so similar to my own that I fell silent.

Lately I had been thinking that a lot. What would I do without Heero? He had become so much a part of everything I did. If he were taken from me, where would I be? Would he feel as lost without me as I would without him?

My sister snapped me out of my reverie. "Anyway, there was a point to this call believe it or not."

"Oh yeah? And what was that?" I almost snickered, it was probably a promotion.

"I'm pregnant." She was grinning widely, practically glowing with pleasure.

"What?" My voice was an octave higher then usual. Pregnant? My career minded sister was pregnant?

"Isn't it great?" She squealed. My sister never squealed.

"Yeah, it is!" And it was. It rushed in on my all at once. It was great; my sister was starting a family. "Lily! I'm so happy for you!" I was nearly as excited as she was.

Heero went back into his room and quietly shut the door. He probably felt I needed my privacy. Seeing him go only reminded me again. We would never start a family together. He would never be mine.

About a month after Relena's visit things appeared to have returned to normal. There were moments when I almost forgot the gulf that had opened up between us. Heero even went back to showing me how annoyingly well he knew me.

"Look I'm going to be late, tell him I just want to reschedule."

"How far away are you?"

"Why do you want to know?" Dang! He was on to me!

"If you're late you're about fifteen minutes late. If you're late because you're procrastinating and don't want to go somewhere you're twenty minutes and twenty three seconds late, give or a take a little." Wow. He was REALLY on to me.

"Prove it."

"You need to get your wrist checked."

"Last time they SQUEEZED it! It hurt!"

"Jess, get down here."

"… Fine."

It may sound weird, but I found these incidents reassuring. We knew each other so well and had invested so much time in each other, how could he just up and leave me?

Nearly two months after the momentous "Relenagate" as I called it to myself, Heero informed me he wanted to go and "Visit some friends."

Heero had left to visit friends before. He went to see a man he called Duo at least twice in the last two years, and some other guys called Trowa, Wufei and Quatre. I knew from the stories he told me they were old service buddies and probably his best friends in the whole wide world. I had asked him before why none of them had ever come to visit him, and he had informed me that he didn't want them to know where he lived "yet" because he couldn't deal with them on a full time basis. This I assumed was another of the odd quirks being in a war had left Heero with. Either that or he was just a really weird guy.

It seemed natural to me he would want to go and visit them, since it had been awhile since he'd seen any of "the guys". This time he wasn't specific, but he did say a "friend" so I assumed it was one of them. Oh how wrong I was.

About three days after his departure some reporters knocked on my door. Yes, reporters. They asked me if I had a comment on Relena Peacecraft/Darlin's relationship with my ex-boyfriend. Ex? For a second I blinked owlishly at them, at a loss for what in the world was going on. Then it hit me. Relena. He had gone to stay with Relena. These reporters were sure they had just stumbled onto the love triangle of the century, and I was almost inclined to agree with them. I couldn't believe it. He couldn't even say it to my face. He couldn't even tell me it was over. I had to hear it from this sleaze ball and the mousy looking woman who was with him. My heart was breaking, and it was doing it on tape. I didn't even have it in me to be mad. They kept the questions coming and the camera rolling. I had no idea what to do or how to behave, and they loved it. Obviously they were used to interviewing guarded people who never let things fly out of their mouths. I had no experience whatsoever in dealing with this kind of scrutiny and I didn't like it one bit. They quickly ascertained that I had absolutely no idea my boyfriend had gone to stay with another girl and they ate me alive from that moment on. After about fifteen minutes I had generated the worst press Relena Peacecraft had ever received. Then I closed the door in their faces.

But now I see that you're so happy

And it just sets me free

And I'd like to see 

Us as good of friends 

As we used to be

The pictures of Relana's joyful expression as she clung to Heero's arm in various places almost made me feel guilty for being so miserable. Almost. He was mine, and she knew it. He wasn't capable of lying to her, I had seen it myself. She knew I was home, unaware that he had gone to play lover boy and she didn't care. She knew I was in our apartment, surrounded by his things and his smell and his photos where he nearly always had the same expression because he's not capable of smiling on command like the rest of us… God, I missed him so much I wanted to die.

Oh… My Love

I began to pack his stuff almost as soon as the reporter had gone. I'm not sure at what point I began to cry, but I think it was around the time I got to his shirts. I had bought most of them for him, since he couldn't be bothered to vary the colors of his wardrobe. I wondered if Relena would dress him up now.

A few nagging questions occupied my attention when I wasn't meditating on my wounded heart. A lot of the furniture in the apartment we had purchased together, would he take it with him? How long would it take before his scent was out of the couch? Would I ever be able to go back to our favorite places? Would it ever be possible for me to ask him these questions? Was he moving in with her? Were they getting married? Was she going to have me assassinated for making her look like the bad guy on TV?

I developed a strong desire to take the role of the woman scorned and burn all of his possessions. That, or to throw them out the window and let him gather them off the lawn below. I wanted to do something extreme, something angry. I just didn't have it in me. I couldn't even muster my anger, all I felt was like a part of me had died. I could have called Lily and had HER get angry and destroy his stuff (she's great at things like that), but I wanted to be alone.

You're in love 

That's the way 

It should be

'Cause I want you to be happy

The "interview" I had given showed up on every news channel from Earth only a day after I had given it. It had been cut so it was apparent I had been ignorant of Relena and Heero's involvement. They had even zoomed in on my eyes to make sure the audience didn't miss my tears. If it hadn't been me who they were showing I'd have called the person I watched a wuss or an attention whore. I probably looked really fake to the people who didn't know me. Lily hadn't called yet so she probably hadn't seen it. Too bad there aren't a lot of other people who don't watch the news. Everyone from my mail man to my last boyfriend called me to offer condolences, ask questions, and revel in my newfound celebrity. I stopped answering the phone after about five of these "sympathy calls".

The media coverage made me wonder if Heero would return ahead of schedule. I still wasn't sure what I was going to say to him when he came. A few times I sat down and tried to write down the thoughts I wanted to share with him, but nothing seemed to fit the turmoil in my head.

He didn't call, that's not his style. He didn't return early either. On his scheduled day of return I put the masking tape on the last box and waited for him to come. There was no way I was going to the spaceport to pick him up. Briefly, I wondered if he was even coming and wished I was one of those practical people who kept the number to the spaceport handy to make sure he had boarded the flight and that it had left on time. The only computer in the apartment belonged to Heero and I had boxed it up before even his clothes because seeing it reminded me of all the time and effort he had put into teaching me how to use it. I was going to have to wait the old fashioned way. Or just chicken out and leave a note.

You're in love

And I know 

That you're not in love with me

When he walked in the door I was ready. Sort of.

"I think you need to leave. Or I need to leave. Whose name is on the lease again?" I resisted the urge to chuckle nervously. I was jittery and little quips were the only way I knew to deal with it. In a minute I was going to start babbling. "Look, you weren't visiting friends this week. And you didn't say that to me, I heard it from other people. I need you to go." God I sounded so lame.

"I was going anyway." His words tore at my heart harder than I had ever thought they would. Since when had I come to rely on having him around this much? Since when had he meant so much to me?

I didn't look at him. I took several steadying breaths and kept my gaze fixed on a point near his feet. "Yeah, I figured. You're stuff is packed."

He took a step toward me. "Jess…" But he said no more.

"I'm not mad." And that was all I could say. It may even have been true. I took a step toward my room and froze as he moved to intercept me.

"Jess…" He began again. He wanted me to say something, anything to clue him in to how I was feeling and what he should do. He couldn't read me at that moment and it was unnerving him. He wanted help. I couldn't give him any more than I already had. I didn't know what he was so afraid of. Things seemed to be going perfectly for him.

"Heero, I need you to move."

"I thought you might understand…" And then all the rage I hadn't been able to feel for days burst in on me. It almost felt good to be full of something again.

"I don't want to have to just understand! I don't want to have to be understanding! I want you to tell me what's going on! I want you to consider MY feelings! I WANT you to make ME a teddy bear and look at ME like I'm something special because you're not with her, you're with ME! I WANT TO HEAR THINGS FROM YOU AND NOT THE TV! Tell me you love her! Say it!" If he didn't say it I would never find a way to believe it. The reality of that hardship could not be faced until he looked me in the eye and broke my heart once and for all. "Damn it Yuy, damn it." The rage was draining away again. I clung to it in desperation but it was leaving me as quickly as it had come. He tried to put his arms around me. Feebly, I fought him off. I was sobbing now. "Say it, please say it.", was all I could get out.

Finally, slowly, he lifted my chin, looked me in the eyes, and said, "You're still precious to me." For some reason, that was the same to me as what I had been requesting. That sentence had contained in it all the finality I had been expecting to come in another form.

Whatever kindness he had tried to put into it was lost on me. I pulled away. "I'm leaving for awhile, when I come back I expect you to have moved out." And with that I stalked out of the room.

When I emerged, suitcase in hand, from my room he was still standing near the couch. Before I could rush past him he spoke. "You could come with me you know."

I almost choked. Was he serious? "Oh yeah, she'd love that."

"As my friend. I've grown accusto-fond of having you around." He didn't understand. He was crossing the threshold into a new life, and I could not follow him. It was sad to think that he had believed he could have it both ways.

"I can't go Heero. If I go there'll be this huge shadow between you and Relena, and you won't know what's wrong and she won't want to say anything…"

He was shaking his head. I knew what he was thinking: his angelic Relena trusted him; she wouldn't mind him hanging around with an ex-girlfriend. Maybe he had this sick delusion about us becoming friends.

"She's a woman Heero. It doesn't matter how sweet or understanding she is, she'd be jealous. And then, if she really is as sweet as you think she is, she'd hate herself for it."

He looked torn, lost. I felt the old urge to take care of him, to tell him I would go wherever he wanted and things would be just the way he imagined them. But I couldn't just take care of him anymore. Living the way he wanted would kill me. Perhaps years from now I would be able to watch him with her without pain, but to follow him, fresh from our breakup to a new place where he was my only lifeline was ridiculous. So instead of taking care of him, I took care of me. "Goodbye Heero." And with that I was out the door.

I purchased a ticket at the airport to the only place I could think of to run. It was a long lonely wait for my flight and an even lonelier trip. As I walked up the old familiar steps I realized I hadn't even called her to let her know I was coming. I rang the doorbell, trying to think of something to say when the door swung open. I was still thinking when she pulled the door open and gazed at me in wonder.

"Lily." I wanted to joke. I wanted to make some little quip about how relationships never last and I needed a place to stay. Instead, I broke down sobbing, dropping my suitcase as I did so. She pulled me into a tight hug as she led me inside, and for once in her life she asked no questions.

Heero called looking for me three days later. It didn't exactly require brilliant detective work since there weren't many places I would flee to. He left Relena's number. Lily saved it for me even when I told her I would like it destroyed. I left for my own place two weeks after that. I left the number there.

I need to look for a new apartment, as long as I'm in this place it's going to feel like Heero could walk back in any minute. Lily keeps suggesting I call him. She says he's my best friend and I shouldn't lose him completely. I think being pregnant has made her crazy. Joe agrees with me.

It's enough for me to know 

That you're in love

I can let you go

'Cause I know you're in love

He's gone. He's really gone.

I tried to find you but you were so far away

I was praying that fate would bring you back to me

Someday… Someday… Someday…

Relena's POV

He's home. He's really come home.

He's not living with me, as many believe. He lives in an apartment on my property and I couldn't be happier. This is the longest he's ever stayed near me and the most open I've ever known him to be. I can't help but attribute some of that to the girl he was living with. He's still the same guy, but he seems so much more whole than he was the last time. Someday I want to thank her for all that she's done for him, but I think she needs some time alone now.

Seeing her on the news was heart wrenching. I know the kind of pain I saw on her face and I feel nothing but sympathy for her and fury at the idiots who cornered her like that. Heero's devastated. He kept trying to contact her with all the persistence of the perfect soldier until Jess' sister and myself finally convinced him that his efforts weren't helping things. I hope she'll talk to him again someday, she means a great deal to him and he'll never be completely happy until she's a part of his life again.

He told me he loved me. And I'm getting married!

You're in love

Jess' POV

They're getting married. And I'm invited. How he got my new address I don't know, but I'll bet it has something to do with Lily. I swear if that girl weren't five months pregnant I'd kick her. Hard.

Forgive me for not leaping for joy. At least they didn't ask me to be in the ceremony.

Oh it's enough 

For me to know that you're in love

Now I'll let you go

'Cause I know that you're in love…

I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go.

NO!

NO!

No… No… No

I'm going. I'm weak. Pregnant women suck.

Afterword:

So I added a little to this and I fixed some of the typos. Or at least the ones I noticed as I re-read. Thank you for all the reviews!

I liked this story. I was happy with how it came out, which sadly if not always the case. I actually had most of it written long before I ever posted this last bit. The Epilogue was the part I wrote first, in case you couldn't tell. : )

Ricky Remembers, one of my favorite readers and a good friend, pointed out that the breakup didn't seem natural to her. I disagree, but I have a really unfair advantage in that I know what Jess is thinking. The following is a brief overview of her character that I hope could be gathered from the story itself: It's not in her nature to stay angry at someone she loves. Hence she almost forgives him before she even has a chance to go and get over him. It's one of the traits I think makes her endearing. She also would not want to prolong a conflict that she found painful. I also don't feel Heero would have drawn things out either. He said the things he wanted to say and repeating them to her wasn't going to help things. He also knew she would not be a very good listener while she was still upset, so he let her go. Jess is guided largely by her emotions and she finds it extremely difficult to hide them, especially from Heero. The reason Heero couldn't tell what she was feeling during the breakup was because Jess herself didn't know. She was experiencing the numb sensation many people get when their pain has gone beyond tears. She needed to deal with things alone. I alone know how she dealt with life after she left her sister's home and I would have included it in the story except that I felt it was unnecessary. Scenes of Jess sitting in front of the TV watching the happy couple and digging into a pint of Rocky Road would not have added much to plot, and I figured I was the only one who loved Jess enough to care. Something I greatly admire about her is that she never once asked Heero to stay. If she had looked him I the eye and asked him, she might have made him stay from a sense of duty or loyalty, but she didn't want him that way. Part of what hurt her about Heero's leaving was that he didn't love her as much as he loved Relena, and she was used to being "#1". I know what happened to her at the Reception, after the wedding, and beyond that because I have a complete life story for this character planned out in my head. It wasn't really necessary to show you any of that because the point of the story was really how incredibly right for each other Heero and Relena are. Here he was with someone who suited him rather well. She was free of disguise, so he never had to guess, she was honest, she loved him and they got along beautifully. Her flaw was that she just wasn't Relena. I enjoy alternate pairings and all but the series makes it very apparent that those two are destined for each other, and I thought it would be interesting to show that from the eyes of someone else.

Whew! That rant got away from me… I hope you found that enlightening if you had any questions about Jess's reactions. Ricky, I love you and thank you for your honesty.


	3. Chapter 3

You're In Love: Epilogue

Duo Maxwell had expected a lot of things when he had been asked to be Heero's Best Man. He had expected to give sex advice, write a good speech, throw a killer bachelor party, get drunk and maybe give an awkward "manly" hug every now and then. What he did not expect was a chain of odd requests that basically amounted to "stall the wedding". He had been asked to give the wrong street to the florist, hide the Bible, and a few other strange things that he could find no explanation for expect one: Heero had cold feet. Heero Yuy did not get cold feet.

Outwardly he looked completely composed, but a man did not ask someone to stall his own wedding for no reason. The last straw came when Heero requested that Duo "misplace" Relena's veil. "Have you seen the size of that thing? Where exactly would I hide it! It has a train that's TWENTY FEET LONG! I'm not sure it's going to fit inside the church let alone a place no one would notice it!"

Duo remembered the day that he and Heero had gone with Relena to pick it out. He could also remember thinking when he saw it on her that if two people hadn't been carrying the back of it the sheer weight of the thing would have snapped Relena's head off. Relena called it a "classic", but privately Duo believed there was a reason certain things went out of style. Outwardly, of course, he and Heero had instantly given their wholehearted approval.

Heero said nothing for a moment, then mumbled: "You'd find a way."

"What are you doing Heero? Don't you WANT to get married? Because there is NO way she is walking down that isle without that thing."

Instantly Heero gave an affirmative nod. "That's not the problem."

Relief flooded through Duo as he realized he was not dealing with a nervous groom. "Then what is it? You're wedding was supposed to start ten minutes ago."

Heero seemed to consider his words for a minute. "I just need twelve minutes and twenty three seconds more."

This had to be the oddest conversation Duo had ever had, and he'd been around the other pilots for extended periods of time. Finally, he sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

Exactly twenty two minutes and thirty seconds after the wedding of Relena Peacecraft and Heero Yuy was supposed to begin, a nervous young woman walked into the church and looked around for a place to sit. It was then that Heero made his final two requests of his Best Man. The first was to return the veil to the bride, and the second was to go and direct the young woman to sit in the section reserved for the groom's family. She accepted the instruction with a large friendly smile, and had Duo not been in a very big hurry he might have stayed to flirt or at least inquire as to how the girl knew Heero.

Precisely twenty minutes later, after some hasty pinning by five overworked bridesmaids and one dictator of a maid of honor, the bride marched down the aisle, escorted by her brother, veil firmly in place.

She sat in the front row of the groom's side, the only person distinguished with such an honor. Across the aisle were some of the biggest names in politics, including the Foreign Minister and the President. Looking uncomfortable among the prestigious company she found herself in, she glanced over her shoulder at the huge crowd behind her and found that many eyes were on her. No one had believed that Heero had any family and none of the people who called Heero their close friend had any idea who she was. Many questions hung in people's minds: Who was this woman? If she was Heero's family why had she arrived so late? Why wasn't she in the ceremony? The church was large and sitting in a pew alone made her feel small and the scrutiny all the more intense. Doing her best to straighten her back and concentrate solely on the altar, she caught Heero's eye for the first time. Looking at her, Heero did something he nearly never did: he smiled. Sitting directly behind her, Anne Une caught the full blast of it and dropped her program in shock.

The ceremony progressed quickly, full of pomp and incredibly long like the popular posh weddings that had recently come back into fashion. The church was full of weeping women and misty eyed older gentlemen, but the woman, usually highly emotional, sat stoically through the whole thing, unflinching and unwavering. She didn't shed a tear. She did, however, make a few private jokes to herself about the size of the bride's veil.

The service ended and the happy couple marched down the aisle, man and wife at last. She stood and turned to follow before she could be hounded by those who would remember to be curious. She wasn't quite fast enough however. She wasn't even halfway out of the pew when the braided gentleman who had shown her her seat came bounding over, closely followed by three others. She lamented her lack of talent at making excuses and steeled herself for the questions to come, but instead she felt a hand on her elbow and turned. There, looking happier than she had ever seen him, was Heero. He embraced her warmly and murmured in her ear: "I'm glad you came. Will you be in my wedding pictures?" She smiled up at him, happy for the joy her friend was experiencing. Perhaps she would stay for the Reception after all.


End file.
